Adjusting and Dividing

I have been working on Girlie’s portfolio and have been struck by an unpleasant truth. We accomplished more this year than we had in any in the past as far as volume of work. I would not be exaggerating to claim twice as much. The combination of agreeable student and determined teacher produced a ton of work.

You would think I would be happy about this. Sure, it is great to see that she is capable of so much. Yet, I also realize that I missed the boat with her last year. I had changed gears so dramatically to incorporate all the high school requirements and rules for Scout, and inadvertantly pushed Girlie into that realm as well. I forgot to divide my focus to reflect BOTH kids.

I look back on this year for those things that were always the fun cornerstones of our lives. I sadly notice that I had to step out of our routine to do things like take nature hikes and snuggle in watching movies or reading together. I turned all our baking/cooking time into science and math lessons. We would begin crafting together, but I was always so worried about academics that I often rushed her through, and didn’t let her become deeply involved. She was terrific about using her free time to draw, read, and write and is self-entertaining. But I must admit that there were a lot of time where she retreated from me. I had become too intense too quickly.

I have been feeling terrible about not noticing this before, and already see the signs of my planning that next year could become the same way. This is NOT what I want for her 7th grade year, and more importantly, it is not what she wants. She and I have missed sharing simple things, because we have been so focused our time together toward an academic end.

Girlie and I laid in bed together reading yesterday after a swim. We ended up talking for an hour on this. It is great to hear her views. We got out a planner sheet ,and tossed around some ideas and goals together.

She really wants to focus on solidifying her math skills, as she feels shaky on a few concepts. She wants to read fantasy literature and do writing, spelling , and vocabulary based on it. She wants to do a lot of creative writing and maybe make a collection of short stories. I am going to purchase Writer’s Jungle, as it seems the best fit to meet all these goals.
She wants to do both math and language arts every day.

She decided she wants a break from nature/biology studies, and we are going to adapt Noeo Chemistry II as our spine. We loved the activities from The Accidental Scientist, and will continue adding them, as well as some other kitchen chemistry creations. She will do science twice a week (instead of every day)

She isn’t really into history, per say, but would rather do an eclectic social studies next year. She really wants to do our “Trip around the world” and we will can make one of the activities to study a little bit of the country’s history. We will do this twice a week.

I offered her then, the freedom to select what else she wanted to do with her days. She wants an applied art program that is fairly independent but not full of goofy cartoons. She wants to make a scrapbook of all her drawings and stories for all her fantasy stuff. Yes! Yes!

She has chosen sewing as her craft, but in a fashion focus. She wants to alter her own clothing, add her own embellishments and flare. She wants to scour the thrift stores and see what she can create/ change. She also wants to make bags and headbands to match outfits. There were a few cute books I will look into for just this purpose. It sounds very fun.

I then made her promise to hold me accountable, and to speak up when I start adding too many other things. SHe smiled and hugged me. “Oh Mom, I knew you’d figure it out after a while.” Gotta love that kid!

“When I Was____ ” Meme

My buddy at Southern Girl Musings tagged me for this cute meme. This was perfectly timed, as I have spend quite a bit of time trapsing down memory lane in the last few days.

As such, the meme is to share what you wanted to be at the ages of 5, 10, 15, and 20.

5 – A fire truck (Truly, I stated this as my future goal on Al Albert’s Showcase, with the reasoning being that I would be able to drive really fast and have a great siren)

10 -A professional dancer or an Olympic Gymnast

15 – A translator for the United Nations (taking classes in both German and Italian)

20 – An anthropologist studying indiginous tribes and writing books about them.

I like realizing how my goals changed. Moreover, I am happy to see that I still have a love of languages (taking Latin at 40), driving really fast, and studying indiginous tribes (homeschoolers count as a tribe, right?)

While not going to tag anyone in particular, I invite any to play along!

You just never know what you’ll find…

In the old shoebox at the back of your closet. Yes, I got sidetracked looking for the match to my one sandal, and searched through some boxes full of old photos and college memorabilia. It was so fun trapsing down memory lane, I called and chatted with two different college girlfriends. Very fun!

The following photo was too funny not to share…was I a ham or what?

St. Pauli Me!

St. Pauli Me!

Originally uploaded by all4reagan

This is my best buddy Adina and I during our junior year of college at a fraternity Halloween party. I must say that this costume brought on more unsolicited proposals of marriage in one night than I could count.

Lots of Lovely Lollygagging…

If there is any time more welcome to a homeschooling mother than the end of the year, I have not discovered it. Being able to step into a mental vacation has been truly wonderful.

I have been up to lots and lots of lovely lollygagging. Don’t you love that word? It just sounds fun and irresponsible. I think it is more about a frame of mind than just actions as well.

I finished up “Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd,, having truly enjoyed and related to her journey. I was prime to do some escapist reading, and am almost finished devouring “Into the Wilderness” by Sara Donati. It is a historical ficition along the lines of Diana Gabaldon’s “Outlander” series (without the time travel element). I am thrilled to see that more books follow…more lollygagging ahead as I read these by the pool.

I was quite surprised to recieve a $50 gift certificate from SchwabLearning.com yesterday. I had shared a suggestion on vocabulary building within contex for their column “It Worked For Us.” It was published almost immediately back in February, but I had never heard anything more. Imagine how nice it was to be rewarded! I am again considering trying my hand at writing a few articles for parenting magazines this summer.

I have done a little sewing, having attached 22 badges and patches to Girlie’s Girl Scout vest. She had her final ceremonies on Monday evening. She had worked really hard, and came up 18 badges short from finishing every Junior badge (quite a feat!). She also earned her Bronze award, the highest for a Junior scout. She is so glad to be a Cadette …

As so many have said, Shrek 3 was a fun movie to see. We waited to go to a weekday matinee, and were rewarded with the entire theater to ourselves. Good think, because I would have embarrassed the kids terribly with my snorting laughter!

Barnes and Noble is truly a lovely place. After my first day, I truly understand the logic in the Starbucks cafe start. In this particular B & N, the cafe is a large part of the experience. It is also the part that is generally staffed with college kids, etc., and thus deals with being short staffed without notice often. If everyone is trained in making the drinks, it is easier to find someone to step in occasionally for an hour or two. Even the managers have been known to do this.

I have to admit, I was a tad worried that I was the summer cafe help as well, but was happy to learn that two positions are opening up in children’s and fiction over the summer for which I was specifically brought on. It seems the girls already in the cafe really like it and want to stay there (can you imagine?)

I have also been spending lots of time bird watching. Mama Robin has done a great job, and there are three babies peeping away. Papa Robin returned just before they hatched , and has been actively helping feed their brood. it has been so interesting watching them go from ugly and bald little feathers fluff balls over the last week. The blooming of our birch trees has also lured a bevy of goldfinches to the yard. At any time, there are a half dozen flitting around the branches, and a few more splashing in the shallow end of the pond.

This lollygagging is quite good for recharging. I’m off to perfect the art….

Thoughts on the Carnival of Homeschooling

Melissa at the Liliting House has done an absolutely wonderful job with this week’s Carnival of Homeschooling .

I encourage you to check it out. More than the great job setting up the carnival, which is indeed lovely, I am moved by the forthright way in which she discusses the injustice done a few weeks ago.

I, too, was angered that someone had the audacity to single out a poster and exclude them in such a way. I am highly against censorship of most sorts, feeling that each person/family has the right to decide for themselves. The blogisphere was full of outrage and calls to boycott the carnival completely.

I chose to purposely take the other route. This Carnival is for every homeschooler, and I refuse to be run off by the inappropriate actions of anyone. While I find censorship much more offensive than a stray swear word anyday, I find hypocrisy even more appalling. The offending party is guilty of both.

So, one person’s decision to forget the wise words from Matthew, chose to focus “on the splinter in her sister’s eye while ignoring the log in her own.” (paraphrased for effect)
While she claimed to be acting “as a responsible Christian” she undermined one of the largest tenets of Christ’s teaching -”Do Not Judge”. In her self-appointed glory she polarized all the readers of the carnival.

In this one act, old hurts flared and calls for boycotts abounded. But I wonder why any of you would want to give power to this woman’s act? She seems set on having a Carnival sterilized of free-thinking others. Why would you choose to turn tail and give her just what she wants?

I got an email criticizing me for posting after what had happened. Why wasn’t I boycotting? Even though the post I submitted was purposely chosen for it’s meaty, non-conformist content, I was being called a hypocrite because I wasn’t turning away. I say to that writer, There are better ways to prove a point!
I gain a great deal from the Carnival of HOmeschooling. I go for ideas, to get reviews of curricula, and to have my brain tweeked. Sometimes I have even stepped outside my comfort zone into a better place for my children and self. I does not matter to me if the writer of these posts is atheist, Buddhist, Fundie or Catholic, for if they help me to be a better homeschooler, I am grateful.

Boycotting, in this instance, is not the answer. What happened was wrong, but it the host, not the carnival. This person will not be allowed to host again because of her censoring actions. Henry has been very clear in this, and I thank him for his integrity.

There is a time to be angry, and then, there is a need to transfigure that anger into something positive. There is a difference between a fire that consumes everything in its path and a fire that cooks things, is there not? Focus the energy of the anger into positive posts that show your views and ideas. Write about intolerance, and give your anger a vehicle to reach others. Cook up something good with the flame!
(concept from Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd)

I agree with Lissa, that as homeschoolers we are a diverse group that need to support and learn from each other. We should not let religious differences become a wide chasm between us. We should not let differences in methodology or approach divide us either. I may be Pollyanna, but I do believe this is possible, even if just one blog at a time.

SO, without further adieu, grab a cup of java and visit the Carnival at Lilting House!

Stepping into Summer…

My friend laughed at me when I said “It feels great to be on summer break” last night. As a traditional schooler, her response was “How different can it be for you? Your kids are always home with you. I think homeschool parents should get to send theirs away for a week or two!”

While she was kidding, it did get me thinking. Camp is a four-letter word that I have grown to cherish. Last year was the first time both kids went away for a week, and it was a wonderful time for me to recharge and focus on a big project. I do need to do some checking of other summer offerings , even if it is just for the day here and there.

CAMP is an attitude around here as well. All summer long, I find the time to do those super-fun projects that we just didn’t have the time to get into during the year. I have a bag full of items to tie-dye and a kit. I have the pots to make bonsai trees (hat tip to Lapaz Learning) . We have plans for building fairy houses and sewing sundresses and a bazillion other fun things. We have plans for day hikes and picnics and water parks.

It looks like we will be opening “Camp Crone” again this summer.
We had a brainstorming session over pizza, and the kids are stoked as well. Scout suggested we plan one activity a week, and then have a “Spontaneous ” jar filled with ideas that don’t take many supplies or planning for other days. Sometimes we will invite friends along.

I have training for my new job at Barnes & NOble today. I am very excited about it. I so love that my kids are old enough that an hour or so alone until Big Daddy gets home is no longer an issue. Everyone starts in the cafe at this B & N, so wish me luck keeping all those funky Starbucks drinks straight. Seriously, books would be no problem. But remembering what goes into a frappachino might do me in!

When it’s okay to let them quit…

There seems to be this unrealistic standard that we can never let our children quit anything they try. Be it sports, or music, or art–we have to make our kids learn that you just cannot quit….period. The fear seems to be that if we let our kids quit anything they will become lazy and incapable of future success.

But as adults, we try things all the time that we do not continue. The truth is we often try things that we just don’t like, or are just too busy to do on a weekly bases. How many of us have workout gear in the house just collecting dust, or fishing gear we only take out once a year? I know most every one of us has tried some craft, be it knitting, crochet, scrapbooking, beading, quilting) that we still have ooh-gads worth of unused supplies stashed away. So why are we so afraid of letting our kids show their preferences?

There are plenty of things in their lives that they do, without attitude, that they do not particularly enjoy. I can honestly say that math and pooper-scooping rank pretty high up on the scale of unpleasantness. They are wise enough to understand that some things just have to be learned or done so it is better to get it over with than dawdle.

I even admit that I have made my kids finish up a season of a team sport that they were not enjoying, but I knew that if my kid quit, the other kids were being let down. I always had a “finish out the season and you don’t have to sign up again” line that they knew by heart.

But what about those individual activities? We have been faced with a quitting dilemna just this month. Girlie has been taking riding lessons again, although this year her teacher switched her focus from basic trail riding and fun to show preparation. Girlie has been unhappy with the change, and has been dreading the hours.

I thought it was just a mood, but when we had our family meeting to discuss closing the business, she readily offered to quit riding to save the money spent there. If she could only choose one thing, she would rather spend her money on her art. We were proud of her being so self-sacrificing at the time. We decided to let her keep going until the show in June so she could experience it.

Yesterday she was playing with her big brother on the trampoline and twisted her knee when Scout collided with her in mid-air. Her second comment was “Maybe I won’t have to go to my riding lesson.” (the first was, of course, to yell at her brother for jumping on her turn

As she was sitting rubbing her knee, she told me that she has been thinking about it all month and just wants to quit riding now. Of course that initial reaction -”you can’t just quit” lecture- was on the tip of my tongue, but I held back. I asked her to explain her reasons for wanting to quit.

She presented a practical and logical case.

1) She hates the idea of being in a show. She doesn’t want to ride to be judged, but rather to enjoy nature and the horse. She equated the show concept to “standardized testing. “

2) She reached all her personal goals with riding. She knows how to saddle and bridle a horse, how to ride well on the trail, and how to brush and clean one after the ride.

3) She is still giving up lessons in three weeks as her part of our family’s decision to cut back financially.

4) We would be spending a significant amount of money (over $300) over these next three weeks just for this show. She feels it would be a terrible waste of money because of reasons 1, 2, and 3.

There was not one point in her argument that I could find fault in, and I could also add in the benefit of my not having to spend 3 hours a week driving on trips to the stables. I was impressed with her reasons, and agreed that she could quit now on the condition that she repaid her father and I for the $70 we invested in new boots for the show. She agreed, and has already made some calls about babysitting and yard work.

Sometimes, it really is okay to let them quit…

That wasn’t in the lesson plans!

We are almost offically done our school year except for two surprise field trips next week. Scout and Big Daddy went off to work together, leaving Girlie and I to putz around. After gathering some ideas for “Crafty Gifts Kids Can Make” class (please offer better suggestions for this class’ name…I’m stumped) we trotted off to the local craft stores to price supplies.

We ran into my mother’s best friend, “A” and her adult daughter, “C.” I have been lucky enough to keep casual contact with “A” in the year’s since my mother’s death . There are some times when I missed her so much that I just needed to talk with one of her friends and hear some stories of her in some role other than mother. “A” was always happy to oblige and reminisce with me.

“C” and I grew up together in a way, spending lots of summer weekends and play dates together over the years. For some reason, maybe our five year age difference, we never took this lifetime friendship outside our parent’s world. When Scout was seven and her daughter 8, we ran into each other again and reconnected as adults, becoming friends. We have not seen much of each other this year as she relocated, so this chance meeting was special!

It was so nice to catch up with them. They hadn’t seen Girlie in two years, and fawned over her changes into a young lady. We talked throughout the store, and then for another twenty minutes in the parking lot. Both “C” and “A” have been very supportive of homeschooling, and asked questions about our year.

Then “A” said, “I am so pleased with how much you have matured and how much homeschooling has changed you. Your mom would be so proud.” “C” laughed and agreed, “You are doing such an amazing job.” We chatted for a few minutes longer and then we came home.

I have to admit that at first, I was a little miffed at the comment. I mean, I have been mature for years, haven’t I? I supported myself and succeeded at university. In business, I had days where I alone sold six figures. I happily put it all on the back burner to be a stay-at-home mom because I knew I would never get another chance at those first memories. I had made all the correct, mature choices.

Yet somehow, I knew that “A” had really hit the nail on the head where I was concerned. Success doesn’t equal maturity. I was still pretty narrow in my thinking in most areas. I was self-centered, and had little patience for other’s who did not do or think as I did. I despised weakness and self-pity.

Homeschooling changed all that. By working with my children, day after day, and watching them in their struggles, I gained compassion. I learned to be patient to wait until they “got” it, instead of being a slave to a clock or calendar. Teaching them was the first thing I had ever done that was not all about me.

I think this reality is the thing that scares most people away from homeschooling but the one they are least likely to admit. It is very hard to shift the focus from self when our culture is all about immediate gratification and self-indulgence. Everyone wants to be happy, but often they are conditioned to seek happiness in impractical scale.

My daughter wisely said to a friend that happiness should be more about simple things and less about “the big happy.” She explained that the only was to appreciate “the big Happy” is have a lot of simple days in between. Real life shouldn’t be about always seeking the bigger, bolder, louder days. We only gain perspective by retraining ourselves to enjoy the ordinary.

I learned to recognize and value differences in people through homeschooling. I was well-suited for traditional school techniques, and thrived. I hate to admit that I often grouped all those who didn’t do equally well into two groups, stupid or lazy. It was not until I was teach my own child that I realized there was a huge groups of people I overlooked , those who learned differently.

That really has been humbling to me. I have learned to rethink EVERYTHING through this new lens. I have learned that while being a leader is great in many capacities, I was never a very good team player. I did not support and uplift very well. Again, it was all about the “Watch how I do it, now do what I do.” I never gave others credit that their way might have been another route to the same success.

I also learned the valuable skill of discernment in parenting. I have become so in tune with my kids that I know when to push, when to lay back, and when to try something different. This sort of thinking is so outside my pre-homeschooling box. Yet, it is exactly what my children need from me, a nice blend of support and structure.

Homeschooling has changed me. I have morphed into this woman able to help her children meet their goals while maintaining her own strength and autonomy. And while this change was not in the lesson plans, I welcome it with open arms.

Evaluation- We Rocked It!

Yesterday was Scout’s first high school evaluation. For the past few years, we have been lucky enough to have a dear friend of mine as an evaluator and as such we have been very relaxed about the process.

But this year we were entering unknown waters, with not only a new evaluator but a whole new set of requirments for the high school diploma program. Suddenly, work was not just 180 days of school but divided into logged entries, completed texts, etc.
Additionally, Scout took classes at the learning center and with the Latin tutor.

So I spent the last week picking and choosing through a year’s worth of work only 8-10 samples for each subject. (our school district’s rule). Can I tell you how difficult it is to do a truly representative job in 8 samples? We decided to compose subject overviews for each as a way to further outline and explain all that was covered. It was like doing 10 mini-essays.

I also had the task of typing up the reading, curriculum, and field trip lists. We had to outline and explain all extra-curricular activities. I had to chase down end-of-year grade reports from teacher’s who didn’t see fit to get them done by the last day of classes (ugh!). Scout had the fun job of tallying up his entries for each subject in his log book, and collecting photos, etc.

I have to say that while it was a little like cramming for a final, I am actually pleased that we go through this process. It is an amazing thing to see this notebook brimming with all his work so nicely organized. I know that I would never put our year into such an organized format if I was not required to, yet it is so great to have this to look back on.

Still, we were both a bit worried by some of the reports of the “Evaluators from Hell” who quizzed the children on dates studied in October and doled our grammar and spelling tests. This type would make the children suffer through 2-3 hour Inquisitions, never really understanding any learning format that did not resemble the brick-and-mortar sort.

We were so pleased to find that our new evaluator was a lovely woman who was so warm and encouraging it relaxed us both. She went subject by subject through the portfolio, taking notes and asking Scout questions. She wanted to know about him and his likes and dislikes, successes and failures. She was full of praise and very impressed with both Scout and his work.

Scout passed with flying colors. He earned TEN (10) high school credits this year!!! More than that, his lowest grade was a B-!!! Scout has such a sense of accomplishment. He finally recognized how to apply his work ethic to his studies. He now knows that just getting it done is not enough, but he should strive to do it well. The evalution was just an hour, and we all left smiling.

When we got in the car, he asked for a high-five, and said “We did it.” I corrected and said, “No, you did it.”. He smiled and said “For once, you are wrong. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. ” He thanked me for pushing him, and for not letting him be lazy. He told me he loved the feeling of pride, and wants to continue working hard next year. He hugged me, and said, “I need to listen to you more, because you really do know best.”

Wow!~ I can’t think of a better ending to the year! (And yes, I was crying as he said all this. A mother’s dream moment!)