“Child-Led, Mom-driven” Education

Dear Sara at The Learning Umbrella had a very insightful post the other day. As a second generation homeschooler, she has a rare insight that I appreciate greatly. She discussed the down side of total unschooling with honesty and clarity. To be able to look back and review, now as a homeschooling mother, gives her a unique perspective. Her willingness to share is a gift to us all.

She also coined a term, “Child-Led, Mom-Driven” as her altered view of homeschooling. I really, really like this. I have for years struggled with conflicting views, many based in common sense and psychology. Finally, a term that melds the two.

I am completely against dull dry textbooks and rote learning of boring facts as brick and mortar schools seem to feel so important. I know that education is life, and real learning is almost a living breathing entity when it is feed properly. When children are excited about a topic, they tend to learn more and delve deeper. I believe in a life full of books and discussion and adventures of every sort.

It would seem I was a perfect candidate for unschooling, yet I have always had one huge flaw in the concept. If I had been given the choice to learn only those things I thought I enjoyed as a child, I would have missed out on a great deal that I have grown to love.

For instance, I always hated history. It was not until college that I met a history major whose enthusiasm changed my life. Seriously. We had “Western Civilization” together as freshman, and our discussions over many lunches made me finally see history as a large, interrelated whole. I began reading and doing time lines and it became a giant puzzle to me that I wanted to solve. My new part of my mind opened and I couldn’t fill it fast enough. My love of history grew then into a desire to study the cultures and people, and I ended up eventually also majoring in anthropology.

Now, I am not at present a paid anthropologist, but I certainly use the mind-set I gained as a student every day while I ponder cultural changes and our homeschooling counter-culture. My anthropology professors were the first ones to truly teach me how to observe, record, and then have confidence enough to formulate my own theories. Even today, I enjoy reading historical non-fiction, because I am always filling in a few more pieces to the puzzle as I do, and feel my understanding grow. I would never have grown into the person I am today had I just kept avoiding history classes.

I would also have missed out on learning about myself, and my abilities to learn difficult subjects and succeed. Most adults will avoid those things that are difficult if given a choice, and most kids even more so. It is the rare teen that signs on willingly to the difficult classes. Yet, it is sometimes meeting a challenge is the very thing our kids need.

I often run across homeschooling parents who don’t want to challenge their children with difficult subject matter. They make excuses that their children wouldn’t like it, or they will give them problems, or their daughters won’t be attending university. I am all for doing your best to make a subject as interesting as possible, but I just can’t comprehend how one could trust a hormone-ridden teenager as the best to make such decisions.

This is where my real world mentality screams out. How are we helping our children develop character if they never have to do anything academically that stretches them? My son swore he was an awful writer. Yet, I knew he was capable of more, but needed the right challenge. He did not want to take the challenging high school writing class because he knew it required more effort than he wanted to put out. The teacher is brilliant and the classroom setting would give him the incentive he needed. It was really difficult at first, and he begged to drop the class because it was “no fun” and “hard work.” We stood firmly, and offered any help he needed. Now, a mere eight months later, he enjoys writing, and is writing well. Not just research reports, but he has been writing World War II short stories and lots of poetry. He is so grateful we made him challenge himself, for he now knows he CAN do more than he thought.

I love the term “child-led, Mom-driven” for that very reason. As adults, there is the wisdom of experience that can aid us in knowing the what, when, and why of our children’s education. Every child IS unique, and has different needs at different times. While I do not buy into the grade differentiated standards, I do feel that each child needs to be challenged and directed to a certain degree. I want them to enjoy their education and have input into their subjects and curriculum.

I want my kids to learn to discern which things you must learn to see to the end, and which things aren’t all that important to set aside. I want them to be exposed to various subjects, at a more challenging high school level. I need them to be PART of the choices and learn the process that is behind them. My son has no interest in a career in science, yet he will be taking the standard three courses through high school so that he can learn enough about them to then decide to not study them again. Similarly, my daughter has no interest in history, yet will learn about it every year, in the most interesting and creative ways I can find!

Oddly, my kids don’t balk a lot about this ,because I have explained my reasoning and they are practical kids. They have seen the benefits of stretching themselves and been surprised with the results. They have often thanked me for being the backbone they have not quite developed at times, because the sense of pride and accomplishment is hugely fulfilling.

And to the argument that they are wasting their time? Give me a break. In truth, the time taken to study these challenging subjects adds up to less than ten hours a week. That’s right. Even as a high schooler, Scout spends only 4-5 hours a day doing work. He still have TONS of free time to pursue whatever hobby or job he wishes. There is no question that spending a little time chemistry or Latin is much better for developing work ethic than watching “Happy Gilmore” one more time.

SO, thank you dear Sara, for sharing. You reinforced my inner voice. As I spend much mental energy planning for next year, I do so with a smile.