Stop Trying to Find the Homeschooling Mom a Career
I’ve gotten my invitation in the mail, and the emails have started rolling between my college sorority sisters and I. For the last two decades we have had an unofficial annual get-together somewhere in Philadelphia. This is with “our ” group within the group. WIthin the larger sisterhood, this was the gaggle of girls that filled in all sorts of roles for each other: study partner, confidante, and even partner in crime. We remain a few short of a dozen, as a couple of our crew have moved out of state.
I am excited to go and see them again, as I missed the last two excursions with time and illness conflicts. I enjoy catching up with them on their lives and trading pictures of our children and even some gossip about others we knew back when. Yet, for years I also went with this underlying dread.
Inevitably, the conversation would end up in a place where they, with genuine concern and desire to aid me, would start discussing potential careers for me. The first few years, they thought homeschooling was just temporary, and probably compared it to my previous phases with Culture Club inspired clothing and dating ethnically diverse men. I called it my living anthropology experiment phase, and learned I really love Korean and Lebanese food. They nicknamed me “U.N” (United Nations) 
When they saw this really was something I would keep doing, gears shifted slightly to helping me plan careers for the future. As they were 1) dear friends and 2) genuinely thinking they were helping, I would politely play along for the half hour of so as they focused on me. I realize that as one who did her senior thesis on “Patriarchy and the Housewifization of Women” it is hard to take in my transformation in the span of a few afternoons a decade. Yet, it is the feminist goal of having choices that gave me the freedom to choose homeschooling and raise my kids 24-7 after college over the careers that they all felt obligated to pursue due to their degrees.
But ten years later, I have had an epiphany of sorts. I realize that despite what they all believe, I HAVE a career. I am a homeschooling mother, and I LOVE that career. And even though I do not reap financial gain from it, it is just as valid as any paying career I could have chosen. They would not be “helping me” so much if I had chosen a career in missions or volunteer service, as that is apparently more socially acceptable than spending your days with your children. But this is my career of choice. More than anything else, I BELIEVE in my career, something that many of them have long lost in the working world.
Maybe it was the act of writing a book, as I actually was able to put my thoughts about homeschooling on paper. Even if I never get published, the process helped me organize and solidify my convictions. I have discovered I also have a lot more to offer, as I work toward turning the unit studies I create for my kids into a small business to help other homeschoolers. Over and over I hear a cry for secular materials and know that I have the tools to help fill that need for many.
My commitment to homeschooling goes past the next six years until Girlie graduates. Even when I am done educating my own children, I still want to be a voice for homeschooling. I need to use my words and share my experiences to give others the confidence to look at a failing system, listen to their hearts, and JUST SAY NO!
Most of all, I want to work to make homeschooling easier for future generations. Girlie is very committed to homeschooling her own children, as are many of her friends. These chicks are not weak followers , but strong-minded girls who are clear about their desire. My pride is bursting to hear them say things like “I know it is years away, but I won’t even bother dating a man that isn’t open to homeschooling.” It makes my heart glad to see ones so young be so clear on the importance of home educating future generations and their desire to meet the challenge.
I do look forward to this year’s get together with the sisters. But this time, I will be the one with all the ideas when they start trying to find this homeschooling mom a career.
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About
I am the mother of two wonderful children, ages 12 & 15, that I have been homeschooling using a blend of Charlotte Mason and unit studies for ten years. My hubby is a terrific dad, contractor and big kid, and we also have two furry, four-legged children others would call “dogs.” I am a total crafty mama, trying my hand at almost anything, and enjoying most.
You can also find me blogging at Homeschool Hacks. 
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I am frequently taken to task for “wasting myself.” I struggle with my desires to “do something outside” and to doing the right thing by homeschooling my children. I hate “the look” when meeting with old friends that says “You’re not fulfilling yourself. You could do more.”
You seem to be doing a fabulous job being a mom and a teacher! Be proud of your accomplishments that will be more valuable to society than any paycheck.
AMEN!!!!
I love your blog! So often I read it and you are
sharing something from your life that has been rattling around
in my brain. I still have people from my old job who call or e-mail with “aren’t you tired of staying home yet?”.
I just say “This is the best job I’ve ever had!”
Thanks for reminding me today.
I’ve got a nice 11 year old son who is planning on being a homeschooling dad.
Congratulations on dealing with the conflicts brought on by the decision to homeschool. Not all compensation comes in cash.
You speak my heart exactly on the matter! Thanks for being so strong on the issue. I sometimes have a hard time explaining how feminism and homeschooling co-exist but you put it perfectly.
I’ve been thinking about this too lately. I agree with everything you say, and yet I’m also painfully aware that if at any time in the future my husband decides he’s had enough of me, or steps under a bus, I’m in pretty serious trouble. Now, I know my husband won’t do that or yours either, but we know husbands do do these things. And while I’m doing the best for my daughter, I’m also setting her up to take this same risk. I’m still wondering on an abstract level how we could fix this problem as societies.
Oddly, I do not feel that I am in a precarious position, nor will my daughter be. We are/will end up both with training for a career, and have a few years working in that career before marriage. I disagree strongly with any that train their daughters simply to be a homemaker with no skills for the real world.
Even if something happens to my husband, all these years as a homeschooling mother, are resume worthy if presented. I am not merely sitting home watching soap operas, but planning, implementing, and managing a school! I also recognize the difference between a job and a career, and if forced to work a job, I have and could, adapting homeschooling around it. I think it comes down to where there is a will, there is a way.
What a great post and how strong your feelings come through. I wish I had your conviction, but, alas, I often feel that I’m not “cut out for” this homeschooling life. I am very dedicated to keeping my kids at home, but it’s a struggle for me at the same time.
What we do as parents has a great impact on generations to come. What people do at work often has little lasting impact.
Keep up the important work.
>I agree with everything you say, and yet I’m also painfully aware that if at any time in the future my husband decides he’s had enough of me, or steps under a bus, I’m in pretty serious trouble.
Life insurance. Because of a pre-existing medical condition, I can only get limited life insurance through my husband’s work. My husband has life insurance to the maximum offered by his employer plus another policy. Term life insurance can be very affordable if you are in good health.
We have a joke at my house. If I die, Henry (my husband) is in big trouble. If he dies, I’m one rich widow.
My mother-in-law went back to school to get a masters degree when she was in her 50’s. (She already had a BA degree.) When her youngest child went off to college, she stepped into a well paying job and worked until she was normal retirement age.
Death, disease, divorce or an empty nest can all push mothers back into the work force. If you’ve got the education, you can more easily adapt to changing circumstances. Either way, I want my daughters to have a good education.
Great post. I am continually struggling with allowing myself to believe that homeschooling is a “profession.” It certainly is harder and more important than any other job that I can think of. I’m glad to hear the same thoughts from someone other than myself. Thanks.
Awesome post!
This my first time stopping by. Can I just tell you that your blog design is so cute?
I really appreciated your thoughts about the topic of finding a career. My mom, who is a staunch feminist, is constantly suggesting careers for me. She is coming for a visit tomorrow so I really needed to be bolstered up. Thank you for doing that.
Jenny
Way to go!!! I was in the doctor’s office yesterday and picked up Ladies Home Journal, which was highlighting Leslie Bennetts’ new book, The Feminine Mistake – that mistake being a stay-at-home-mom. It’s an utterly repulsive, fear-mongering piece of literature, screaming at women that “your husband might drop dead” – or that surely he’ll leave you. And now you’ll have to leave your fantasy world and realize that you made a horrible economic choice. It’s really horrible stuff, and I greatly appreciate hearing your thoughts on the career of the homeschooling mother. There are certainly worse things than ending up financially broke, like having kids who barely know you.
Blessings!
Diaryof1.com
A fantastic post. Thank you very much for sharing. It gives me alot to think about myself.
[...] I don’t mean to say that all homeschoolers share my perspective on careers. I do know that some homeschoolers don’t need a paid career. Where as some do want some kind of career in addition to homeschooling. And that is fine! Because [...]
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