Stop Trying to Find the Homeschooling Mom a Career

I’ve gotten my invitation in the mail, and the emails have started rolling between my college sorority sisters and I. For the last two decades we have had an unofficial annual get-together somewhere in Philadelphia. This is with “our ” group within the group. WIthin the larger sisterhood, this was the gaggle of girls that filled in all sorts of roles for each other: study partner, confidante, and even partner in crime. We remain a few short of a dozen, as a couple of our crew have moved out of state.

I am excited to go and see them again, as I missed the last two excursions with time and illness conflicts. I enjoy catching up with them on their lives and trading pictures of our children and even some gossip about others we knew back when. Yet, for years I also went with this underlying dread.

Inevitably, the conversation would end up in a place where they, with genuine concern and desire to aid me, would start discussing potential careers for me. The first few years, they thought homeschooling was just temporary, and probably compared it to my previous phases with Culture Club inspired clothing and dating ethnically diverse men. I called it my living anthropology experiment phase, and learned I really love Korean and Lebanese food. They nicknamed me “U.N” (United Nations)

When they saw this really was something I would keep doing, gears shifted slightly to helping me plan careers for the future. As they were 1) dear friends and 2) genuinely thinking they were helping, I would politely play along for the half hour of so as they focused on me. I realize that as one who did her senior thesis on “Patriarchy and the Housewifization of Women” it is hard to take in my transformation in the span of a few afternoons a decade. Yet, it is the feminist goal of having choices that gave me the freedom to choose homeschooling and raise my kids 24-7 after college over the careers that they all felt obligated to pursue due to their degrees.

But ten years later, I have had an epiphany of sorts. I realize that despite what they all believe, I HAVE a career. I am a homeschooling mother, and I LOVE that career. And even though I do not reap financial gain from it, it is just as valid as any paying career I could have chosen. They would not be “helping me” so much if I had chosen a career in missions or volunteer service, as that is apparently more socially acceptable than spending your days with your children. But this is my career of choice. More than anything else, I BELIEVE in my career, something that many of them have long lost in the working world.

Maybe it was the act of writing a book, as I actually was able to put my thoughts about homeschooling on paper. Even if I never get published, the process helped me organize and solidify my convictions. I have discovered I also have a lot more to offer, as I work toward turning the unit studies I create for my kids into a small business to help other homeschoolers. Over and over I hear a cry for secular materials and know that I have the tools to help fill that need for many.

My commitment to homeschooling goes past the next six years until Girlie graduates. Even when I am done educating my own children, I still want to be a voice for homeschooling. I need to use my words and share my experiences to give others the confidence to look at a failing system, listen to their hearts, and JUST SAY NO!

Most of all, I want to work to make homeschooling easier for future generations. Girlie is very committed to homeschooling her own children, as are many of her friends. These chicks are not weak followers , but strong-minded girls who are clear about their desire. My pride is bursting to hear them say things like “I know it is years away, but I won’t even bother dating a man that isn’t open to homeschooling.” It makes my heart glad to see ones so young be so clear on the importance of home educating future generations and their desire to meet the challenge.

I do look forward to this year’s get together with the sisters. But this time, I will be the one with all the ideas when they start trying to find this homeschooling mom a career.