Spring is fast approaching…

While not trying to predict the weather again, I have realized that spring is fast approaching. While reading some of my favorite blogs, I noticed everyone is researching new books and getting packages in the mail. Then I went to the mailbox and saw the first of the homeschool curriculum catalogs.

Even though next year’s plans are up in the air for one of my students, I can still get excited about the plans for Girlie. I am happy to have an extra few months to really research this year. I am hoping to spend most of March selling off the crates of books and curricula that we are finished so we have a nice stash with which to start shopping.

A few ideas I am leaning toward:

Hat tip to JoVe and all the other happy folks loving the Braverwriter lifestyle. The BraveWriter philosophy seems to be the perfect fit for our Charlotte Mason background, and Girlie’s love of creative writing. We checked out the website together, and she is very excited. I think that for next year at least, we will use the program independently with the book, The Writer’s Jungle.

Noeo Science is also very interesting. We are friends with another family that has selected Noeo, and the mom is adapting it to challenge middle school students. Since this mother has a degree in biology, I am very excited for us to tag along. The girls (3 of them) have selected Chemistry II, and we will get together twice a month for experiment days. We will supplement with some fairly intense science fair projects to help fill out the year.

We are also considering Math-U-See PreAlgebra, through the learning center. The teacher is a homeschooling dad with a degree in mathematics, who also struggled with dyslexia his whole childhood. He is very encouraged that algebra will be just the thing to get Girlie loving math, as she is very analytical and typically bored with rote computation. She is currently doing twice the math she did before to ensure she has the foundation needed to handle the class.

Other things she is going to take at the learning center are chorus, musical theater, drawing, and my multi-media American history. Again, she is taking mainly classes that are for enrichment, and not heavily academic.

The biggest step is that Girlie wants to take the lead in planning her literature program. We are going to spend a lot on time checking out book lists and in book stores, coming up with a nice mix of classics and modern books that interest her. She wants to make each month have a “theme” ,and once she selects the book, wants me to help her find activities to correlate in geography, culture, and crafts. We will culminate with a field trip of some sort. It sounds like a really neat idea, and she is very enthusiastic.

SO, keep posting your ideas online…I love picking everyone’s brains for new ideas!

The Selfish Homeschooler

Apparently the honesty of my post yesterday ruffled a few feathers. Thanks to all those who left comments, as they are I do read take each and weigh it. I received some lovely emails of support from friends who know me and my commitment to my kids, and realize that this is a true stuggle based in only wanting the best for my son. But then I got one from an anonymous source that flamed me, paragraph after paragraph. This person labeled me as a “selfish homeschooler.”

Wow, if that isn’t an oxymoron? “Selfish” and “homeschooler” don’t seem to naturally fit in the same sentence. But as I analyzed our problem more and more, I realized that what really is needed is for me to become a more selfish homeschooler.

You see, homeschooling takes a huge time commitment as we do it. We take a delight directed learning approach, and in Scout’s case, this means I create a literature rich history curricula specifically for him. I spend the spring and summer reading stacks and stacks of books, trying to find the best for each time period. I create tests and essay exams for all he will read, as he needs both as part of his portfolio and for his high school diploma program.

I create Excel spreadsheets, dividing the work into a CM style, adding in all his other subjects. I’ve taught him how to use a weekly planner. I write and post his assignments, broken down into parts, each with its own deadline. I put post-it reminders on his computer to help him remember these approaching deadlines. Besides his lessons, we also have consistent discussions on his books from a broader historical basis. He was struggling to commit to Latin, so I am taking that with him as well (competition with me for grades is a huge motivator.)

Now, I am not wanting a pat on the back for any of this. I only share it because some folks thought I was being a little too demanding in expecting him to meet a few deadlines throughout the year for papers and projects. He’s a great kid after all, and to that I agree. But that is just not enough for me.

In some great emails with my dear friend JoVe, I have explained my “Eureka” moment over this entire issue. I am just going to paste excepts of it here to share:

“
While I try to give him every opportunity for a great educational experience, I cannot make him want to take advantage of it. Again, I only ask for 4-5 hour a day of school work from him total. He is only willing to do 3 hours, and that is just not acceptable for a high schooler. It may appear that I am overloading him with work, but it really is far from the case. Yet, he will play 12 hours of videos and be irritated when I ask him to do a chore of carrying his laundry down. It really is ridiculous.

The truth is this is a LOT about me. I am forty, and finally becoming a woman who values herself and her time. I am becoming a lot more selfish with how I spend it, and I often feel that with him, I am wasting a lot of effort that would be better spent elsewhere. I would rather focus on the student who is eager to learn, my hobbies and friends, and work on my book than have yet another argument with him about the same crap. I have realized that he is just not emotionally ready to work, and while it is a shame, it is really okay with me.

What is not okay with me is the expectation that I will continue to expend so much effort doing everything I do if he is not going to meet me halfway. This is where the resentment comes in, and I don’t want to resent him. I love him dearly, and think that if I wasn’t responsible for his educational planning, I would not take his lack of ambition so personally. I could just let him be, and not feel as if there was always something else I could try.

He and I had a nice chat over lunch today where I expressed this to him. I see him struggle, because he really loves the history based curriculum and his chosen course of study. He admits that I don’t ask that much of him, yet for some reason he can’t quite figure out , he has this little voice in the back of his head telling him it is just me and not really that important. I asked if there was anything more that I could do to help, and he admitted that I did more than enough. We talked about maturity and responsibility, and I told him I needed him to stop acting like a child, especially when he wants to have so many adult priveledges.

He now has a few more months to start performing without problems, or he has chosen cyber charter school by default. He was closer to owning his behavior than he has been, but he still has problems with phrases like “taking the easy road” or “laziness.” This shows me he knows what he should be doing, and is not truly without care. It is up to him to work it out now. “

Like all relationships, all parties need to work toward success. He needs to realize that in life, there are consequences that come from lack of effort. While some may choose to continually martyr themselves and their families, I am choosing to be selfish. I am telling my entire family that I value myself and my efforts, even though I will never earn a dime from them. I think I am worthy of respect. I also think they, even as children, have a responsibility to themselves and to me as their educator. I am doing them no favors by letting them go through life without any accountablity.

This may be one of the best lessons I have ever taught them….

Homeschooling the Non-Ambitious

I can spend hours perusing homeschooling blogs, a pleasant distraction during my frequent bouts of insomnia. I am inspired by many motivated self-starters that are involved in wonderful projects and interesting study. I am especially in tune to stories of high schoolers who design their own curricula around their interests, and seek out free reading and educational activities for themselves. I read of those who homeschool only to indulge their passion of sport or music.

I read, and read, and wonder….where did I go wrong? That is not my high schooler. While he is a wonderful friendly and good-hearted boy, he has NONE of what these kids have. He would sleep until noon if I let him, rush through his school work in 3.5 hours with the least effort passible and then waste the rest of the day. He doesn’t pick up books, though claims to love reading. Doesn’t practice his guitar more than twice a week, and rarely without being told. He has no hobbies. Doesn’t have a passion for any of the dozen of so sports he has tried, and doesn’t exercise without force. The only part of his body that is in shape are his hands, from spending so much time on Playstation or clicking a mouse.

I have been distressed by this for almost two years, but my husband and I have been at major odds on this issue. I worry about his lack of interesting in anything that doesn’t have a controller. Big Daddy feels that he is a good kid and will grow out of it, and I worry too much. I keep waiting for a change, but just see more and more of the same.

How do you homeschool the Non-Ambitious? I am facing the point where this is a serious question. Last weekend, we had another meeting. Scout is ignoring deadlines. Deadlines that are now typed up and hung in various points of the house. He had been working on a research paper since January, and did well with his deadlines through his rough draft. He got sick, and I gave him a two week extension to type up his final. That came and went.

At our meeting, he used said illness as the excuse. Big Daddy reminded him that he still found time to go to two birthday parties (one a sleep over), Scouts, camping, and hang out with his girlfriend, so he was certainly well enough to type a paper. We addressed other items that he has not met on schedule for science. Again, he “just forgot” or “didn’t understand my directions.” He says he will do better. Each and every time.

So, he types for an hour, and brings me a paper. In 16 point type set. Does he really think that I am blind, or just stupid? Seriously! We have another meeting, and he swears I never specified 12 pt type (as I have always had). Big Daddy is about to give him the benefit of the doubt when I pulled out Girlie’s term paper, handed in on time and in 12pt type.

Forced with the plain logic that if one got it right, it might not be the teacher…Scout admits he changed it because just couldn’t think of anything else to write. I asked if he considered looking for more sources, and he told me that I only said five sources were necessary. Big Daddy points out that five was the minimum, and that common sense would have you look further when those you have are exhausted. His response, “I didn’t want to do anymore.” Laziness again beats out logic. He spends the rest of the day researching and finds a wealth of information, adding it to his paper to meet the requirments.

The dilemma as a teacher and a parent is how do you get a handle on such bad habits? There are deadlines in real life, and our children need to learn how to meet them. There are also reprecussions for not meeting them in real life. We are doing him no favors in enabling his bad habits. College is soon approaching, and he needs to understand that he needs to earn both entrance and his degree. Since we will be paying ourselves, it is not a wise financial risk if Scout does not show some maturity and commitment.

For the longest time, my husband and I disagreed with how to address this problem, but we are finally in the same book (if not the same page). We, as parents, have come to an agreement that he will have to be graded according to performance, with no more extensions or second-chances. If he ends up getting C’s or worse, they will be on his transcript.

As a teacher, I imagine it must be disappointing to give low grades to students with great promise and potential. As a homeschooling mother, it is painful. I realize that each mark could potentially translate into non-acceptance into his school’s of choice. Yet, I also know that I have given him every chance, every reminder, and cannot force him to perform to his ability. This is compounded by the problems in our relationship as a constant lack of ownership of his own problems would make me the cause of all his future failures. (it’s easier to blame anyone other than yourself!)

I realize so much is his lack of maturity. At the same time, I cannot coddle him forever, for he needs to learn self-discipline. I am frankly tired of nagging, and as his younger sister becomes more of a self-starer, I realize just how much little remembering he does on his own. He needs to get the greater understanding that goals need action in order to become reality.

I am also going to set up meetings with him with one of the assistant scout masters and writing teacher at learning center. He respects both greatly, and I do as well. I am hoping that through these meetings he can see that academic performance now is important to future success. I realize that he has major difficulty accepting that I may know what I am talking about in these matters would be aided if others he respected echoed the same things.

I know that a lot of other personality issues are at play here, and from a purely selfish level, I am tired of the struggle. I see how this constant battling with him about academics is not only negative for our relationship, but it is really negative for our family. While the men seem to feel there is should be a way to delineate between my role as parent and teacher, I cannot find a such a simple line. I find it hard to not be angry that he is so blatantly disrespecting me as a teacher. I feel badly that I am unable to follow a more unschooling lifestyle with Girlie. Most of all, I am constantly striving to change those parts of my life that cause me the most stress.

I have made a difficult decision that unless Scout begins following directions and meeting deadlines for me as he does for his teacher’s at learning center, this will be my last year homeschooling him. We have a great deal of choice in cyber charter schools in our state, and while he will not get a personalized education, he will have others to answer to besides me. Our relationship can go back to being parent and child. While he does not like this idea because “I’m going to have to do a lot more work”, he is being given one last chance to choose to be in control of his education.

We’re Alive…

Did you realize it is entirely possible to lose a week of your life when suffering from a fever-laden flu? I was unable to hold off the attack from the rest of the family, and by last Monday evening, knew I was in for the duration. I spent days in bed just trying to bring the fever down and teh delerium at bay. The only time I have ever been that sick was from West Nile Virus.

Girlie, who had been the best of my patients, was recovered enough to hold the house together. She would come in and check my temperature, and wake me with a cold rag if it had gotten too high. Big Daddy, who now has a killer chest cold stepped up and made sure I was able to just sleep as they all had. My father stepped in an dropped a turkey and fixings on the front porch. My best friend, who lives a thousand miles away in Florida, managed to get a large pot of homemade soup delivered via her mother who lives up here. It is so good to just be able to focus on yourself when you are that sick.

By Friday, my fever had finally broken, but I was left with a nasty chest cold and lethargy. And a list of deadlines my arms lenghth. We spent some time Saturday out shopping for the necessary items the kids needed for their projects, and they were to have had the planning done and lists ready.

One thing I have noted by being this sick is how willingly Girlie has taken charge her things. She would come in with a notebook and her ideas, then ask me to help her see if she had forgotten anything on her list. She designed things on paper before she got to the display boards, and had a lot of great ideas. She is becoming very much a self-starter. If I hadn’t been so out of it, I might have done too much for her and not given her the chance to really shine.

While I called down and asked Scout numerous times if he had his planning done and his lists made, he assured me he had it covered. Suffice it to say, one child followed directions and was all ready to go, and one screwed around and played videos games. But that is for another post about irresponsible teenage boys…

We got started on them only yesterday, and Girlie finished her Audubon display over the afternoon. It really is quite cute, but she has forbid me to post photos until after the fairs (as she doesn’t want to share her secrects . Scout and Big Daddy built this amazing apparatus to hold the flashlights for the experiment , which I think entered into the too much parental involvment category, but let’s not go there either. He did some work on the timeline for his history display and then played on the computer all night.

I spent the afternoon getting everything organized as the fairs chairman. Trying to organize judges and students, and coordinate time for over 100 enteries takes lots of pre-planning at home. I have just enough judges, while I have to make a few phone calls and get just one more for the first hour. It is exciting, and I can’t wait to see how it will turn out. I will definitely be posting lots of photos!

Today Girlie plans on getting started on the science display, and doing some drawings of a plant cell. I pretty much let her go with it, and have been enjoying just jumping in to help with requests like “Where is a green marker that works?” or “I need more glue sticks!” makes it fun to watch her create. She has really taken to using the format gallery in Word documents, and fiddles with the computer fonts and such for hours.

Scout is procrastinating and not meeting agreed upon deadlines as usual, and this time I am not going to bail him out or coerce him into getting things done. It is a case of the proverbial “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” He is going to have to deal with his displays, whatever state they are come fair time.

I’m back now, and hope to keep you up to date with daily progress reports!

Focus on Fair Projects…

Our learning center has a huge fair night on March 2nd, and hosts a science fair, history fair, and art show all in one evening. The children compete against a set of criteria for ribbons in each catergory. Additionally, there are awards given for the individual achievment which range from best of fair to most fair spirit and most creative. I am the chairperson this year, and as such, decided to make this a major activity for our family. The kids are placing enteries in each fair, respectively.

This week is our project week, and the kids are pretty excited to focus solely on the fairs. Both children have done their research papers, and now need to turn that information into their history fair project. Scout has focusing on the French Revolution, while Girlie has done a biography on John James Audubon. Now they will create their displays for each, focusing on time lines, photos and graphic organizers to tell the stories.

For the science fair, we will also be creating displays and doing some calculating this week. Girlie is going to create an edible plant cell out of a sugar cookie and use candy to represent all the parts, as well as an informational graphic explaining all the labelled parts. Scout will be doing some experiments focusing on batteries for environmental science. He is planning to prove the cost benefit of rechargables versus standard, show how a battery works and why they are hazardous in landfills. Additionally, he will be comparing brands of traditional batteries, and creating a graphic organizer to display all his findings.

I am really excited to see where they go with all this. I try very hard to let them use their creativity, and basically only provide them with the supplies they request and advice when asked. I enjoy standing back and watching their minds work. They tend to help each other, giving suggestions and creating their displays. I can hardly wait!

With all that on our plate this week, we are limiting their art entries to some lovely landscape paintings they did in an art class last summer. Girlie is wanting to enter one of her anime drawings, but we are not going to do any new projects this late in the game.

Catching up: Tut, birthdays and the Flu

I can hardly believe it has been so many days since I found time to sit down and write, but life has found a way yet again. I am still having problems with posting photos, as they seem to arbitrarily decide whether or not to give me the option of thumbnail sizing, and have not had the time to figure it out. I have hardly even taken time to read my favorite blogs either. No time like the present to play catch-up as on a cold winter’s morn with a hot cup of coffee at hand.

Scout is quite recovered from his flu, which I am now catergorizing as a “mono-like” flu since you cannot bounce back from mono in three weeks time. We had a really fun day on his birthday field trip to Philadelphia. We had not been to the Franklin Institute in years, but the King Tut exhibit was enough temptation to get us back. His day, and his call, so we bought the tickets weeks ago. ( I must add, my weather forecasting method was quite close, as the snow/sleet storm came the day prior. I still think there may be a future for me in meteorology, but I digress.)

The night before our trip was a bad one, as Girlie came down with high fevers and chills. At 7am, we decided she needed to stay home with Big Daddy to rest and recover. A quick call down to my SIL, who was coming with, and her 23yr old daughter called off work and joined our traveling party. The roads were clear and the day sunny.

We arrived a little before 11am, as we wanted to see the Institute’s changes before our 2pm viewing time of old Tut. In the six years, not much had changed other than a little paint. We were VERY disappointed. We have visited many science museums in the tri-state area, and I must say the Franklin Institute offers the least, yet is the highest priced. Head a block over to the Academy of Natural Sciences for a much better experience.

The high point was a wonderful planetarium show called “Stars of the Pharaohs.” It was multi-media, and shared the Egyptians vast knowledge of the stars and astronomy, as well as great views of some of the major architecture and art of the time. This was wonderfully done, and very informative.

The Tut exhibit itself was interesting, but not overly impressive. Firstly, the sarcophogus that they pictured on all their advertising was NOT part of the exhibit, nor did they even have the decency to have a paper mache copy there. These were some items from inside Tut’s tomb, but also many from other tombs. The display in glass boxes was nice as we could walk around the items and truly study them. I highly recommend The University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archeology and Anthropology instead, as they have a permanent Ancient Egypt exhibit that is wonderfully done and covers so much more.

Scout and I, who had studied ancient Egypt quite extensively last year, found the audio tour a distraction. We preferred to walk amongst the artifacts and discuss together. Everyone else walked along silently listening, and there was little written information at each artifact. An interesting older fellow approached us and began discussing the exhibit with us, and admitted he had been eavesdropping on our conversation. He was a former history professor at U of Penn, and was impressed with Scout’s knowledge, and was pleased to hear we were homeschoolers and of his future aspirations. What a nice compliment!

We left the Franklin Institute and had another mission: to get my boy a genuine Philly cheesesteak . I took everyone on a driving tour through the fun parts of Philly, and we had a blast sight-seeing. We drove through the shopping district on Walnut, past the art centers and colleges on Broad, and down South Street “where the wild things are.”

We drove across Fourth st, or Fabric Row, and headed to South Philly. The images from “rocky” really are South Philly, but I don’t think they realized how accurate they were. This was epitomized in the name of the shops…”Yo! Beauty Supply” couldn’t make it anywhere else! The Italian Market was pretty well closed with the weather, but all want to return in spring for another museum and then produce/meat shopping.

We made our way to Pat’s Steaks, and ordered ours “wit” ,as well as cheese fries. What artery-clogging goodness, and a great end to our day. Next trip, we are determined to sample Geno’s Steaks, to compare.

While I had to done my “Cookie Mom” hat off and on all day Friday, I spent the rest of the time making sure Girlie stayed resting in bed (still with high fevers) and getting Scout ready for his cabin camping trip. I surprised him by getting a full sheet cake to sent along with him, so that he could celebrate with his friends. It was odd not having him home for his 15th birthday, but we knew he was having a blast with his friends.

By Saturday, Big Daddy was also sick. Can you say get me out of this house? I played nurse most of the day, but did get in some time sewing up costumes for Girlie’s play. When I wasn’t disinfecting surfaces and taking vitamin C! Keep your fingers crossed that I don’t succumb to the nasty bug as well.

THe Cookies are Coming!

No time to post on our tete-a-tete with Tut now, the Cookies are Coming!

That is, the Girl Scout Cookies are coming, and I was back-doored into being our troop’s cookie mom. The one weekend I purposely don’t check email, there was on that stated…”Since you have years of experience with all the cookie sale and I am a new leader, I would really appreciate it if I could count on you to handle this. Unless I hear back from you by Sunday evening, I will sign you up as our cookie mom. ”

When I read that on MOnday morning,
I thought “_________” (insert favorite explative here) .

Off to pick up and sort a bazillion cases. I am going to wear my “Stop me before I volunteer again” t-shirt.

Adventure Mouse Visits Our Learning Center

I only had time for a post about Addy, the Adventure Mouse, visiting our learning center on Monday.

In response to questions, I share information about our learning center.

For now, I have to get the gang ready for our trip to Philadelphia. King Tut awaits!

Valentine Surprise…

Last evening, Girlie and I received surprises from the UPS man from Big Daddy. This was a highly unexpected surprise. Apparently, he and Girlie had been watching television last week and a commercial came on with delivered flowers. She was amazed at this concept. Big Daddy decided that he wanted to treat us both this once. She was so excited. I really appreciated the thought.

(I tried to be, despite the fact that I generally despise the absurd price of flowers on this holiday, and would much prefer plants like orchids that are going to live longer than a week. )

The glorious snow has turned to sleet, so we will all be spending our Valentine’s Day cocooned in the house. Right now, I need to go deliver some hot cinnamon buns and coffee to my big bear of a husband…

THe Accidental Scientist-Experiments in Cooking

While searching around the internet, I came across an interesting web-site. The Accidental Scientist has so many fun experiements to do in the kitchen. I am especially thrilled to try those with yeast hot-air balloon and monster marshmallows.

We’ll let you know how they turn out!