Gift Receiving Etiquette(or how not to swear at the relatives)
Everyone has at least one horrible shopper in their family, or if you are like me, quite a few. This presents challenges for most people to maintain composure. I enjoy shopping for the perfect gift for each person, whatever my budget may be, and love it when the gift truly pleases the giver. I was so thrilled, as an only child, to marry a man with a large extended family, and imagined wonderful exchanges of thoughtful gifts.
After a decade, I have learned that with most of his family, this is not the case. Yet, I sometimes wish I could somehow address those instances of crappy gift giving. Since I can’t stoop to that, I can at least appease myself by sharing the Christmas joy with all of you. The following are all TRUE stories…I couldn’t make stuff up this ridiculous.
Offender #1- The Cheapskate
This person repeatedly buys your gifts on the scratch & dent shelf at the local drug store, yet will go on and on about the wonderful and expensive gifts they have purchased for others. (Only the handle is broken off, but you could glue it). After exhausting all avenues like gift suggestions and price limits that they set and then defy, you inevitably receive your pack of Bic pens and a pair of socks. Of course, this is the wealthiest of relatives…making a multiple six-figure income.
Offender #2- The Airhead
This person never takes the time to match the gift with the giftee. This is evidenced in her giving your eight year old son a candle and potpourri centerpiece, and thinking she did an excellent job because the candle is blue, to match his eyes.
Offender #3- The Scrooge
This person constantly gripes that your kids have too many toys, movies, books, ______(fill in the blank) and he will just put $25 a year in the bank for their college education. I try to explain that I would rather he try to let his grandchildren see a little effort in shopping for a gift, and that I would worry about replacing the $450 he would have saved for them over 18 years. His first attempt was to buy my seven-yr old daughter a cupcake pan, because she likes to eat them. ( I have since decided to not push the issue, and let him just put the money in the bank. )
Offender #4- The Secret Demon
This is the person that buys your children the noisest toy on the market year after year. The Furbies, the Wacky Sax, the singing Elmos, the drum sets and pianos– they give their loud bounty with delighted, evil smiles. Especially loved is when the toys start to come alive in the child’s toybox at 3am, and the said offender laughs happily. How cute. Luckily, the kids wanted the toys gone then and quickly donated them.
Offender #5- The Judge
This person gives you gifts to “help” you remember all your weaknesses, with lovely comments. “SO you can get your floors cleaner,” while you open a Swiffer wet jet, or “You have been gaining weight,” as you open a book by Dr. Atkins. ***This person was stopped in their tracks after I retaliated with two books of my own…addressing the hyprocricy of alcoholism and Christianity and the DaVinci Code. She has been giving lovely candles ever since!
Offender #6- The Proud Regifter
This person tells you with pride that the gift she just gave you was from someone else, or had been the property of her dead mother. She will also tell you what about it she did not like enough to keep the item for herself, and instead pawn it off on you.
After a decade, these situations have become the funny stories that I share with my girlfriends. Tomorrow evening, we will be having our traditional Christmas eve get together. I promise that, if there are any funnies this year, I will post them after Christmas.
I found this wonderful post from the Yarn Harlot today, in which she lists great gift suggestions for knitters (and crocheters). Maybe if I hand these letters out next year….
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About
I am the mother of two wonderful children, ages 12 & 15, that I have been homeschooling using a blend of Charlotte Mason and unit studies for ten years. My hubby is a terrific dad, contractor and big kid, and we also have two furry, four-legged children others would call “dogs.” I am a total crafty mama, trying my hand at almost anything, and enjoying most.
You can also find me blogging at Homeschool Hacks. 
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Oh and I cannot wait to hear the stories. BTW, hypocrisy of Christianity-what book is this (please)-
And these are the family you LIKE to spend time with?!
Hope you have a happy one.
JoVE
Sounds like you practice your social intelligence skills during Christmas! Have a great one!
I know all those people. They are my toxic relatives. This year, I said “enough” and purchased several different “chia” gifts, wrapped them, didn’t put tags on them, and plan to just hand one to each person. It will be a surprise to me too when they open them. Of course, chia makes this kind of cool herb growing kit – I thought that one was too nice so I kept it. It was chia or $5 worth of lottery tickets each, but I was afraid one of them might win.
So we shouldn’t have sent my nephew a large and messy Playdoh set? We had two kids before my brother had one – so really it’s all just payback
And don’t forget the ungracious recipient of your carefully chosen gift. Some in the extended family (thankfully none of my own flesh and blood lol) ask, without even wasting breath on a thank you for the gift you did give, for the receipt in order to trade it in for something “I’d like better”. I’m surprised no-one in that family yet has cut to the chase, coming out and asking us to just hand over the cash.
However, this makes a dandy lesson for my own kids, who’ve been taught from day one that it’s the thought that counts, and you say thank you even if you don’t like it, don’t feel like it, or have six of the same in your room already.
(Hey, I found you! I’ve been catching up on my reading this last while. Also changed the URL for your blog in my links list at Farm School…)
My own particular cheapskates do the $25 for the bond, but they buy a cheap gift, which they then give to my kids and tell them it’s for use at their own house. Yes, “Here’s your gift, but you can’t take it home.” They want the kids to have something to use at grandparent’s house, but won’t just buy something for all of them to use.
Slippers, 365 TV Free Things to Do (your television watching is wrong as I don’t approve of what you watch), a card shuffler to use so you can shuffle cards while you play our card games with us, tea sets to live in our tea set collection so you have one you can use while you’re here, a ball game to use with Grandad at his house (given at our house and taken home as I didn’t know about it happening).
Ironically, they feel the need to bring things home from their many trips, overspending on useless crap, while saying the kids have too many things to give them something they’d like for holidays or birthdays.
One of the above people also said, after thanking me for the many thoughtful gifts over the years that she has in her house, “I’m sorry I never got to know you well enough to know what you’d like.” I’ve only been married to her son for 18 years. I’ve got no remaining family of my own to speak of, and gift giving with them and my separated husband have made me dread that aspect of holidays and my birthdays.
While I agree with Becky that it’s the thought that counts, sometimes you reach the realization that for some people, the only thought is that they have some obligation to give a gift, and that there is no thought past that. They’re not doing it because they want to; they’re not looking to see that joy; they just need to give something. I don’t think that’s what it’s supposed to mean.
I love gift giving. The joy of seeing someone light up when they open their gift is incredible.
It’s hard to stop doing that even with the hurt. Next year, it’s Heifer International gifts only for them. It’s a good charity, they support it themselves, and it’s a better use of my money and time in giving them a gift.
MotherCrone Thank you for addressing the down side of gifting. Oddly, it’s been uplifting to see your descriptions and know that there are other people dealing with so much of the same thing.
Any gift should be received with grace and thanks. To do otherwise is very small.
Hysterical. You had me laughing from the title on.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.